Fightin' Words.

Someone, somewhere in a somewhat recent past wrote a post about fighting styles.  I cannot for the life of me remember who, but as Mr. A and myself are presently in a Bit of a Tiff, I was thinking about such things (if it's you, let me know).  And how completely antithetical our fighting styles are.  Here is an example of how a fight between Mr. A and Slynnro typically plays out:

Slynnro:  YELLING ABOUT SOMETHING!

Mr. A:  (pauses for 5-10 minutes LITERALLY to think of a response)

Slynnro:  OH MY GOD!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!  (storms off)

Slynnro:  (Does not speak to Mr. A for a ridiculously long time as she is queen of the silent treatment)

Mr. A:  (attempts to actually talk about issue)

Slynnro:  (IS FAR TOO MAD AT THIS POINT )

Yep.  As you can see it's real fucking productive.

That whole waiting 10-15 minutes thing?  That IS NOT A JOKE!  The longest Mr. A has ever taken to respond to a comment by yours truly in a fight was nearly an hour.  AN HOUR OF SILENCE.  DURING WHICH HE WAS NOT SILENTLY STEWING BUT INSTEAD ATTEMPTING TO THINK OF A RESPONSE.  Unfortunately for him, this silence only serves to strengthen my resolve that I am so totally right.

As you can imagine, that is completely infuriating for me.  But I also know that he is not doing it to make me even madder.  He really is thinking about things.  But it just doesn't work with my YELL ABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT THIS VERYSECOND style of doing things.

We've reached, it often seems, a complete impasse.  I am a yeller.  He is a quiet thinker.  Who also just doesn't get that mad about things.  Which really only serves to make me madder because I see his inability to understand why I am so upset as him being insensitive to the things that are making me upset.

My incredible ability to remain silent is also pretty impressive/counterproductive.  And oh, ironic.  The longest I ever went without talking to him was two weeks after a BAD BAD BAD incident a few years ago after Thanksgiving in which he was SO TOTALLY COMPLETELY wrong about a BIG BIG DEAL and refused to admit it that I felt there was nothing more I could say (I'm still mad, btw, about that incident).

Our jobs probably play into this- I'm a litigator who is forced pretty much every day to think on her feet in front of a judge and god knows who else and argue with people who are many years her senior.  Mr. A generally does his work alone (though in thoroughly stressful conditions) and thinks through issues much more in his head than in a debate with other people.

So this is our cycle.  Neither one of us is right.  Neither one of us is wrong.  Which doesn't do much to resolve matters.

(I mean about the fighting styles, I GOTS LOTS of opinions about who is right and wrong in relation to actual issues that we were fighting about).

So how do you all handle such situations?  Silent treatment?  Yelling?  Or a glorious combination?

NoImYoSeMo: The List.

So here she be folks, The Official List:

1.  Plan a Trip with Mr. A to NYC- now obviously, this trip isn't going to happen in November.  But I want to make a concrete plan for it.  I've only been once before, and I was POOR POOR POOR and didn't get to eat anywhere nice or do much at all.  I would love to go back with him, especially since we haven't done any city vacation trips save for one to Chicago with his parents in 2007.

2.  The Pile on the Dryer from last year?  IS BACK.  I don't even know what half of that crap is.  NEEDS TO GO.

3.  Photo Wall- we have been talking about this for oh, THREE YEARS.  It's time. 

4.  New Bedding- DONE as of Saturday!

5.  Clean Bathroom INTENSELY weekly.  I pick it up day to day, but it really needs a serious cleaning more often.

6.  Fully Stocked Fridge- our fridge is a joke.  We don't even have basic condiments.  I'd like to have more stuff available that would make me apt to cook a bit more often.

7.  Clean Wooden Floors Weekly

8.  NO SHOPPING.

9.  Hang Up Clothes After Wearing- Every day, my suit ends up on the floor as soon as get home, costing me a fortune in dry cleaning.  And no, I don't like Dryel.

10.  Make the Bed More Frequently- Once the new bedding arrives, obvs.  I don't care until then.

11.  Crock Potting!- One good meal for me and Mr. A every week.

12.  Visiting People- I have plans to visit a friend and her new baby over Thanksgiving, but I'd like to make plans to visit Bunny in Oklahoma and get together for dinner at least when some people in town.  Bunny and I are also hoping to go visit Angela as well some time next year.  Maybe we can try and pick a time for that now.

13.  Read the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover book.

14.  Start a New Tradition. 

15.  Cooking Class with Friends- I'm planning on taking a risotto class with 2 friends in December.

16.  Weekly Work Task- There is a weekly task I have for work that I always put off.  It needs to stop.  It stresses me out.

17.  Reading Music-  I want to eventually relearn how to play the flute.  First, I need to figure out how to teach myself to read music again.  I know I won't complete this in November, but I'd like to have a plan to at least figure out how to go about reading music again.

So there are the goals!  If you are participating, please put your list in the comments, or link to your post!

My Halloween in Pictures.

So, I revealed my costume via Twitter on Saturday.  But I didn't post a pic of Mr. A's costume, as it really deserves it's own blog post:

CRAB KING!

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A KING CRAB!

(He is the King of the Crabs, not of the genus (or whatever the fuck) of crabs called King Crab)

Gettin' sultry with a chocolate covered pretzel:

Yes, Mr. A wears an "A" hat.  He went to Emory, in Atlanta.  He wants it to be very clear the A is not for his first name.

CRAB KING RULES WITH AN IRON FIST!

BUT HE ALSO LIKES TO DANCE!

Let us Hug It Out, King Crab:

This was SO it.

Tonight I saw Michael Jackson THIS IS IT with another MJ lovin' friend.

People.

I got a lot of shit from CERTAIN PEOPLE about the fact that I was going to see this.

I even made a few ego sparing pre-screening jokes about it myself.

NO NEED TO THAT.

It was AMAZING.  Ya know, we all know Michael Jackson was an amazing talent and yada yada, but to see him, standing alone on a stage, in the midst of various non-glamorous activities relating to things like set construction, standing amongst people in sweatpants, half-assedly singing and dancing and still be the most mesmerizing, compelling thing I've seen in ages?  WOW.  There really aren't words how gifted this man was.   Or how incredibly kind. I'm retroactively kicking my own ass about the fact that I was never even interested in trying to find a way to get tickets for this show.  It would have been the most amazing concert production in the history of time and grateful to even have a bit of a look into what would have been.

Go see it.  Go see it now. 

Familiar.

So I've written in the past about one of my former best friends/maid of honor and the inexplicable demise of our friendship. What I haven't, however, talked about was the best friend before that. The true original College Best Friend. I'll call her Bunny. Bunny and I quickly became friends after pledging the same sorority freshman year. Bunny, Angela and myself pretty much spent every waking moment together for the next 3 1/2 years. But the summer after senior year, our friendship began to deteriorate. I'm not even sure what all the issues were anymore, but I do recall that part of my frustration was my inability to get in touch with Bunny at times. Now, who knows, this might have all been a figment of my long term memory at this point. But all this to say, we didn't talk from some time in 2003 until a few months ago. 

We share a mutual friend, the infamous Matty and thus I was able to stay somewhat abreast of what was going on in her life. I knew she got married, I knew where she moved to, and I had a general idea of what was going on with her. I have a lot more to say about this situation, but I will say two things here 1) One of my biggest regrets over the past few years is not trying to get in touch with her (while mistakenly trying to get in touch with Other Best Friend) and 2) Having her back in my life now is kind of like going home to the small town I grew up in. She is familiar in the most fantastic way. 

The other day, she called me as I was heading into a meeting and I promised to call her later on that night. I forgot to, and apologized for such on her Facebook page. Her response to that wall post is a fantastic reminder of why I am just so damn happy to have her back in my life:

That?  Is the sense of humor I missed ever so much.

NoImYoSeMo II.

So dear readers, November is just around the corner. Which means the TRAGIC END OF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME! On a more positive note, it also means NoImYoSeMo! For those of you who weren't around last year at this time, I started November Improve Yourself Month in order to set some goals for the month and hopefully put myself on a motivational track. I had a lot of great success last year, so I plan on doing it again. I'm working on my goals list now, and I will be posting them this weekend. I'd love to have you join me! Create your list! And post it in the comments on that post!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET TO THINKIN'!

Crock Pot-kets.

A conversation that occurred while I was typing up this post on Feminine Freak Outs.

Mr. A: Ya know it's not fair. The feminine freak out. Men don't have anything equivalent to that. We just have to roll over.

Slynnro: Oh, shut up. When you have periods and childbirth and sexual harassment, I might start caring.

Mr. A: Whatever, you've never given birth.

Slynnro: One day I might. If YOU every wanted a child, I am the one who would have to have it.

Having no decent response to that one....

Mr. A: Whatever, I get sexually harrassed too.

Slynnro: Oh really.

Mr. A: I get hit on.

Slynnro: Getting hit on is not sexual harassment.

Mr. A: (Proceeds to tale story of this one time at his old job where someone senior to him might maybe have hit on him)

Slynnro: You know what I take from that story? That when an older woman you aren't in to hits on you, it still doesn't qualify as sexual harassment.

Mr. A: My old maybe-alesbian secretary used to hit on me too!

Slynnro: It doesn't count if a lesbian is sexually harassing you either.

Mr. A: She had a boyfriend.

Slynnro: She could still be a lesbian.

Mr. A: She had a kid.

Slynnro: She could still be a lesbian.

Mr. A: She used to send me these bizarre hot chick of the week emails.

Slynnro: Further evidence she was a lesbain. And it's still not sexual harassment unless she is sending you pictures of herself on that site.

*******************************************************************

So, I had a SUPER FUN weekend. On Friday night, Mr. A and myself went and saw Jim Gaffigan (4th row seats!). For those of you not familiar, he plays the brother on My Boys, and is also of Hot Pockets fame:

Also, my favorite CAKE:

and then I went out with several girls from work. Have I yet mentioned how much I love my job and the fact that I have made such good friends and I get to see them everyday? Because I do.

On Saturday, we went to WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!

Which, WHATEVA. The two people, three courses for $20? GOOD DEAL.

Anyhoo, for all the joking I did beforehand, Walking with Dinos IS pretty cool:

The dinosaurs were freaking huge and they did an amazing job making the whole thing very realistic, if a bit cheeseball. And the whole thing fit right in nicely with our whole Fucking Do Something on The Weekend OMG plan.

AND THEN! ON SUNDAY!

ERM. I mean....




YAY! Tomorrow, I'm cooking this! Super excited!